To Love You in Silence
by Yuuna Arashi
Summary: I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I found no rejection. I choose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams no one owns you but me. - this is a love story between Morinozuka Takashi and Fujioka Haruhi. [One Shot]


**Disclaimer**: **I do not own Ouran High School Host Club; the rights go to Bisco Hatori-sama. I do, however, own the plot of this story. This work is purely fictional and does not happen in the real plot of OHSHC, except for a few flashback scenes.** **Thank you Hatori-sama for creating such wonderful characters for all of us, Ouran die-hard fans.**

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><p><strong>To Love You in Silence<strong>

_I choose to love you in silence, for in silence I found no rejection. I choose to love you in my dreams, for in my dreams no one owns you but me…_

Takashi didn't know when it all started, when all these feelings began to surface from the very depths of his heart. Perhaps it started when she first called his name during that struggle with Tamaki, or maybe even during that time at Kyouya's tropical aqua garden. For all he knew, he woke up one day, feeling immensely confused with these newfound feelings. He tried not to think too much of it whenever he can, but it proved to be quite difficult especially during hosting activities; his gray eyes would sometimes stray towards her.

Each interaction with Haruhi, even though minute, could only make his feelings for her grow day by day – each gentle brush of fingers and each little (genuine) smile sent his way, he treasured all these gestures immensely. He could only clenched his jaw in frustration behind his stoic mask every time the others, especially the twins or Tamaki, get too close and personal with her – despite her obliviousness towards their advances. At times like these, he channeled all his focus towards his cousin, Mitsukuni, like dusting off the cake crumbs from his face or looking after him during his nap, being the ever diligent guardian.

It came to a complete surprise to him when Mitsukuni confronted him one day about it when they were meditating at the Morinozuka's dojo. Was he that obvious with his feelings?

"Takashi," his cousin started. His honey-colored eyes were thoughtful and knowing as he looked up at Takashi.

"Hm?" he replied, showing his acknowledgement towards his cousin as he continued to meditate with his eyes closed.

"Do you like Haru-chan?" Mitsukuni noticed that his cousin had turned tense upon the question asked. He smiled at this reaction. Sometimes, his cousin was too easy to read.

"…" Takashi stayed silent and his eyes remained closed; opting to not answer the question as there were a million things running through his mind at that exact moment, like _'How did Mitsukuni know?'_ was one of them.

"Do you love her, Takashi?" Mitsukuni asked and smiled again when he noticed Takashi's involuntarily clenched fists. This time, he stayed quiet and just waited patiently for his cousin to answer his question.

"…I do," Takashi opened his eyes slowly and Mitsukuni saw the raging storm of emotions in his gray orbs. "I love her…" there was a sense of sadness in Takashi's tone when he confessed.

"You should tell her, Takashi," his cousin said seriously, all childlike aside. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you found someone else to care for."

"…But I choose to love her in silence, for in silence I found no rejection." Takashi murmured and could only let out a wistful sigh and it breaks Mitsukuni's heart seeing his cousin in this state.

Mitsukuni knew he couldn't do anything about this even though he really, really wanted to. There was no point in forcing someone to love you if they do not reciprocate your feelings. It would be pointless to tell Haruhi that Takashi loves her, if she does not feel the same.

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><p>About a week after that confrontation, Mitsukuni noticed his cousin was being out of sorts. It was unnoticeable at first, but gradually, it became obvious. Even the twins and Tamaki noticed the changes but they chose not to say anything about it, thinking that maybe it was just a momentary phase. Kyouya pondered what was wrong as well, because if his senpai keeps this behavior up, the club's profits would plummet before he could say 'Suoh Tamaki'. Ah, trust Kyouya to only think about the club's benefits.<p>

Mitsukuni wondered if he should have just kept the questions to himself because seeing Takashi behave like this worries him.

Each passing day spent at the host club could only make Takashi's heart ache more. He tried his best to be normal, as normal as he could be, but alas, his efforts are sometimes wasted.

_I wonder what's wrong with Mori-senpai. He's not himself lately_, Haruhi thought quietly as she kept stealing glances at her senpai's designated table while half-listening to her customers' chatter. Seeing her senpai behaving oddly brought out a foreign feeling inside her, as if seeing him like this hurts her. Of course she was worried, they are friends, right?

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><p>"<em>Aishiteru Haruhi…" he murmured softly as his large palm cupped the side of her face in a gentle manner.<em>

_Eyes fluttered closed, she leaned into his touch and turned her head a little sideways and gave a butterfly kiss to his palm. Haruhi placed her own hand over his and gazed up into his ash colored eyes that are filled with warmth and love._

_In under a second, the mood instantly changed. Takashi felt his heart was going to break into pieces as she looked up at him with a sad smile and took a step back. He reached out to her with his hand hanging in the air as she took another step back._

"_Haruhi, don't g-," he choked between his words, "please… don't leave…"_

"_I'm sorry senpai, but I don't feel the same way…" with those last words, she faded into thin air._

Takashi woke up with a gasp and the sound amplified in his quiet room; he sat up abruptly in bed, clenching his chest. He turned to look at the digital clock on his bedside table – it read 2:38am. His heart was aching and his head was aching; his whole being ached. His body was drenched in sweat and he felt suffocated. Without realizing it, silent tears trailed down his face.

That dream was too vivid… unlike the previous dreams he had of her.

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><p>The next day at the host club, one member was missing. When asked about the whereabouts of his silent cousin, Mitsukuni couldn't come up with an answer because he too, was searching for Takashi.<p>

"It seems like we can't do anything about it now," Kyouya began as hosting activities were about to start soon, "let us just continue today's activities and search for Mori-senpai later. He must still be at Ouran's grounds."

"But Honey-senpai can't host on his own! It wouldn't feel right!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"We don't have a choice Tamaki," Kyouya reasoned, he's nearly out of patience and felt like strangling the blonde idiot.

"Then I shall host with Honey-senpai for today!" Tamaki declared triumphantly.

"Wouldn't you be stealing Honey-senpai's spotlight, Tono?" Kaoru started on Tamaki's side.

"Kaoru's right. If you host together with Honey-senpai, wouldn't he be pushed to the background by you?" Hikaru continued at Tamaki's other side.

"I wa- didn't-," Tamaki spluttered between words.

"You want to steal my spotlight, Tama-chan?" Mitsukuni wailed as tears sprung out of his eyes in large droplets.

"N-No Honey-senpai, I di-," Tamaki tried to reason but it only fell on deaf ears as Mitsukuni continued to wail in tears.

Kyouya's vein nearly popped. He was about to say something towards them when Haruhi interrupted.

"Kyouya-senpai, will it be okay if I host together with Honey-senpai for today?" she asked as she turned towards Kyouya. The others turned quiet at her suggestion and looked between Kyouya and Haruhi. Kyouya contemplated it for a moment before giving out his answer.

"Yes, that's fine Haruhi. I think it'll be better if you are to host with Honey-senpai instead," Kyouya smiled his calculating smile and Haruhi, as well as the others, didn't want to know what that smile meant.

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><p><em><strong>Hosting activities are in session…<strong>_

The ladies who usually designated Mitsukuni and Haruhi were quite surprised with the new arrangement. As they looked around, they noticed that the other third-year was not present. This left so many questions unanswered and they wanted to know why he wasn't there, though only a few were brave enough to voice out their thoughts.

"Honey-senpai," a second-year student started, "how come you are hosting with Haruhi-kun for today?" Others might thought that the way the question was asked was in a rude manner, but they knew better than that.

Mitsukuni stopped eating his cakes momentarily and pondered for a while on how to answer her question. He didn't exactly know where his cousin was, he hasn't seen him since coming to the academy. Sensing that her senpai might be conflicted in giving out his answer, Haruhi answered for them instead.

"Mori-senpai has kendo practice at the moment," Haruhi said as she poured more tea into their now empty cups. She turned towards her senpai and noticed a few cake crumbs at the corner of his mouth. She grabbed a napkin and reached towards the corner of his mouth to wipe away the crumbs. The small action resulted in quiet squeals from the ladies – it felt really different from the way Haruhi did it. It was almost maternal-like.

Haruhi smiled – assuring – towards him before turning back to her customers.

"Ah, that's right!" Mitsukuni answered, playing along with Haruhi's answer. "Takashi has a competition coming up soon, so he'll be needing all the extra time to practice." He continued munching on the cakes laid out before him.

"Do you want another slice of cake, Akeru-san?" Haruhi asked with a smile, slowly changing the subject. She knew that if they were to continue to talk about Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai wouldn't be able to keep things back like before. She knew he was worried for his cousin, because deep inside, she was worried about him too.

It felt like her heart was maimed whenever the thought of something had happened to him crossed her mind, although, she didn't know why it felt that way.

"Ah, yes please," Akeru answered with a slight flush on her face, seeing Haruhi's smile. "Thank you, Haruhi-kun."

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><p><em><strong>Hosting session ended…<strong>_

Right after host club activities ended, Mitsukuni pulled Haruhi to the side.

"What's wrong, Honey-senpai?" Haruhi blinked in confusion. The host club was about to go and search for the other third-year and the others had already left, but when Mitsukuni pulled her to the side, confusion was evidently plastered on her face.

"Haru-chan, I need to ask you something," Mitsukuni started, fidgeting where he stood in front of her. _'I'm so sorry Takashi, but I have to do this.'_

"What is it?" she inclined her head to the side, brows marred with further confusion but patiently waited for her senpai's question.

"What- What do you think of Takashi?" Mitsukuni looked up at her with slightly tension-filled golden eyes.

The question caught her off-guard. She blinked in response, not knowing how to answer his question. Her silence only fed his tension more. If Mitsukuni was already feeling this awful, he wondered how his cousin would react.

"Let me rephrase my question, Haru-chan," he swallowed the huge lump in his throat before continuing, "How do you feel about Takashi?"

"How do I feel about…Mori-senpai?" she repeated his question, to make sure he was asking it right.

"Yes," Mitsukuni patiently answered, despite the wrecking nervousness he currently felt. He looked up at her, searching for the answers in her eyes.

"Do you ever feel worried about him?" Mitsukuni pressed; the tension was so high, he felt like vomiting.

"I-"

"Does your heart hurt, Haru-chan?" he pressed on.

"What-"

"Does your heart hurt whenever you think if something might happened to Takashi?" he pressed further, tears glistened in his golden eyes.

"Honey-senpai, what's wrong really?" she pulled him towards her and enveloped him in a hug, running soothing circles on his back with her hand. "Please, tell me what's wrong. Why are you asking me these questions?"

Tears trailed freely down his cherub cheeks. Haruhi took out a napkin from one of her pockets and wiped his tears away. She led him to one of the sofas and sat next to him. When his sobs had quiet down, he turned towards her with tear-stricken eyes.

"Haru-chan," he started quietly, "do you like Takashi?"

"…Is this why you were asking me those questions?" she replied in the same manner after a moment of silence.

"Just- just answer the question please, Haru-chan."

Haruhi took another moment to contemplate her answers and Mitsukuni observed her closely as she drifted off into her thoughts.

_Does she like Mori-senpai?_ Well yes, she does. He's a really good friend, one who protects her and saves her from danger.

If she had to choose who she wanted to hang out or spend time with, she'd choose Mori-senpai in a heartbeat. _In a heartbeat? Really?_

She thought back to her times with him. Even though they didn't spend that much time together, all those moments were precious to her – the small glances he sent her way, the helping hand he gave her whenever club activities were done, those moments when he saved her from Tamaki and the twins' atrocious behavior and so much more. She likes his company, more so than the others.

_Why?_ It was because Mori-senpai was like gravity. He kept her on the grounds when everyone else pulled her up from her spot.

She recalled back her senpai's questions towards her about his cousin. Yes, she does feel worried about him and the thought that something might happened to her quiet senpai brought a horrible pang to her heart. She unconsciously clenched her chest and the action didn't go by Mitsukuni.

Suddenly, a flicker of hope had ignited itself in his honey golden orbs.

"…I do," she answered breathlessly.

The hope then flared into life.

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><p>Just as Mitsukuni instructed, Haruhi sent a text to her quiet senpai asking him where he was. If Mitsukuni was right, Takashi would reply her in a heartbeat and just moments later, a message tone was heard. Both Mitsukuni and Haruhi looked at each other, wondering if the theory was proven.<p>

Haruhi checked her incoming text and there it was: _his reply_. Mitsukuni grinned towards his kouhai and told her what to do next. Once he told her everything, he bid her good luck. Before she left, he gave her one last hug and thanked her for reciprocating Takashi's feelings.

"No, it's thanks to you Honey-senpai for making me realized," she ruffled his hair playfully. She walked out of the music room and went to her destination.

"Good luck Haru-chan," Mitsukuni murmured quietly, happy tears welling in his eyes. He sent a text to the other members, informing them that Haruhi has found his cousin and that they should go home to get some rest.

"Well then, it's time for a celebration!" he exclaimed and skipped out of the music room in cheerful steps as he headed home with thoughts of delicious cakes in his mind.

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><p>Haruhi arrived in a breathless state at the place her senpai had told her. She ran all the way due to the adrenaline that was pumping through her system as it was a long way from the academy's dojo and also, the thought of being with her senpai rushed her forward. The thought of telling him how she really feels brought out the courage she desperately needed and with it, nerves.<p>

She could see him lying on the grass beneath one of the larger sakura trees, with one arm cushioned behind his head. Breathing deeply, she started her way towards him in quiet steps.

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><p>Takashi decided not to do hosting activities today, because the way he currently was, he was only going to jeopardize everyone around him. After that dream last night, he had trouble falling back to sleep. So he chose to sit outside his balcony and waited for the sun to rise. Doing that task proved to be difficult because he kept thinking about the dream and about Haruhi.<p>

So, when it was deemed the right time, he set off to the academy and went straight to the dojo. To try and keep his mind away from his current thoughts, he decided that an intense practice session was due. After that exhausting feat, he walked aimlessly outside to the fields, located behind the dojo.

Seeing that he's far off from the building areas, he plopped down on the grass and lay on his back.

When Takashi received that text from Haruhi, his heart soared into the air. He knew it was just a question, but the thought that he crossed her mind at all made him contented, even by a little. He knew his train of thoughts would only add more salt to his unhealed wound, but he didn't care.

He replied her in a heartbeat, telling her where he was. He felt that she wouldn't get out of her own way just to go look for him; she had other important things to do. _Right?_

So he lay back down on the grass with one arm cushioned behind his head, closed his eyes and drifted away to another dream filled with Haruhi.

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><p>With only a few feet separating them, Haruhi's nerves grew by a tenfold as she stayed rooted to her spot when her senpai moved to sit up. She tried not to make a sound, fearing that the littlest sound could alert him of her presence. Haruhi wasn't just quite ready yet, but if now wasn't the appropriate time, when will the chance come again?<p>

So she breathed in deeply, quietly, and gathered enough courage for her next task.

"Mori-senpai…" she murmured his name quietly. She knew he could hear her perfectly, there was no one around. No other people, no unnecessary noises, it was just the two of them.

Haruhi noticed his shoulders turned tense slightly. _Good_, that was how she wanted him to react.

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><p>Takashi thought that he might be dreaming again. There was no way Haruhi could be here right now, so close to him. The absurdity of the situation was laughable and hurtful at the same time. He ran his fingers through his hair, frustration enveloping his every being.<p>

When he turned around, he lost the words to say anything. There she was, standing right in front of him, just a grasp away but his mind refused to believe that Haruhi was really there. _Is this some kind of sick nightmare?_

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><p>"Mori-senpai," she said his name more firmly, trying to prove to him that she was really there. Honey-senpai had mentioned something about this; he told her that his cousin would most probably think that her presence was conjured up from his mind – like she wasn't really there. She needed to prove otherwise.<p>

So she moved closer to him and reached out slowly to brush her fingertips across his cheekbones. He leaned to her touch but there was a bitter smile lingering on his lips. Her heart clenched seeing that bitter smile.

"Why weren't you at host club today?" Haruhi asked quietly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

He relished the feel of her fingertips against his face before letting out a deep sigh. He leaned away from her touch and missed the hurt that flashed through her eyes. _Why do I always have these bittersweet dreams lately?_ Takashi thought it was becoming the death of him.

"I didn't feel like going to club today," he only said and turned his back towards her.

"But why, senpai?" she asked further, hands clasped together nervously. "Is something the matter?" She didn't like the fact that he turned his back towards her. She wanted to see his face when she talked to him.

This was going to be difficult but she wasn't going to give up easily.

Takashi stayed quiet for a while. _When will this dream end?_ He heard the underlying worry in her voice but he was absolutely sure that this was just a dream – a bittersweet dream. _When will I ever wake up?_

"It's none of your concern, Haruhi," he muttered and she flinched from the cold tone of his voice. "Why are you here?" _If only you knew your very presence is tormenting me because I cannot have you, save in my dreams_.

Sensing that this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere, Haruhi had enough.

"Mori-senpai, _please_ look at me when I talk to you."

"…Just leave Haruhi. Leave like you left me in my previous dreams. It saves my sorrow; I don't need an extension of those bittersweet dreams of you that turned themselves into nightmares. I'm just too exhausted; I haven't had enough sleep because of them. Please, just let me wake up…"

Haruhi was stunned into silence. Was this the extent of his feelings for her? The anguish in his voice puts a heavy ache on her heart. She badly wanted to comfort him, to tell him that this is real, that she was really here and she's not going anywhere. However, what if he thought it was just a joke? She couldn't bear to think of his reaction.

There was no other choice; she had to prove it to him now. That everything right at this moment is real.

She tentatively placed her hand on his shoulder and was relieved that he didn't flinch away, although just slightly. She caressed the nape of his neck softly with fluttering fingers and was pleased to see his reaction. Haruhi knelt in front of him – his ashen eyes followed her every move – and cupped his face gently with both her hands.

Takashi was slightly surprised because her touch had felt so _real_. _Is she really here?_

She gazed into his gray orbs with an endless affectionate adoration, hoping that what she was about to convey will be sent through.

"I'm not going to leave, Senpai," she murmured softly yet firmly, tears glistened in her chestnut colored eyes due to the overflowing feelings she has over him. It was becoming hard for her to talk because of the sudden realization that she had really fallen in love with him, but she had to prove it to him one way or another. _Please, believe me_. "I'm not going to leave you, not this time."

"Haruhi…?" his mind couldn't register the fact that she was actually really here. _This wasn't a dream…?_

"I'm really here, Ta-Taka…shi…" she whispered gently and moved to wrap her arms around him, tenderly leaving a kiss on his forehead and the moment his given name fell out of her lips, he knew this wasn't a dream and he was finally out of that long 'nightmare'. "_I'm right here,_" she added resolvedly.

Takashi pulled away from her a little, hurt flashed across her eyes by his sudden action and it didn't go by him, he smiled secretly at her reaction. He cupped the side of her face in a gentle manner and ran his thumb across her cheek with featherlike caresses. He was very pleased to see when Haruhi leaned towards his touch.

Eyes fluttered closed, Haruhi leaned into his touch and turned her head a little sideways and gave a butterfly kiss to his palm. Haruhi placed her own hand over his and gazed up into his ashen eyes that are filled with warmth and love.

_This scene is familiar_, Takashi thought as his heart plummeted to the ground when he realized the similarities of it with his nightmare. His heart rate began to increase and he suddenly felt suffocated. He pushed away from her, but not far enough as Haruhi caught on to him.

Sensing that something was wrong, Haruhi tried her best to calm him down. "Takashi, breathe. Breathe with me, come on. Deep breaths," she instructed as she struggled to get him to calm down. "I'm right here," she started to sob, stumbling between her words, "I-I'm not g-going anywhere, I promise. Takashi, I'm right here." Tears started to stream down her delicate face, seeing Takashi like this broke her heart immensely. _What do I do? _There was only one obvious thing to do and deep down, she knew what it was all along.

She grabbed his face with difficulty and forced him to look at her tear-stricken face.

"_Aishiteru yo_," she declared with certainty as she held his gaze firmly with her own. "_Aishiteru yo, Takashi_."

She could feel his struggles against her ebbed away slowly.

"_Aishiteru,_" she said again, more firmly than before as she looked at him with affection filled teary eyes.

"Haruhi…" Takashi searched her eyes for the truth and he could clearly see it. It was like the sun had finally shined in his ever dark, constant world.

"_Aishiteru…_" Haruhi whispered and her eyes strayed towards his lips, something Takashi didn't miss.

He tentatively leaned towards her, silently asking whether his actions were alright. When she suddenly leaned forward the rest of the way and initiated the kiss, it took him quite a moment to respond appropriately. He laid a hand at the small of her back and pulled her closer to him, she responded with wrapping her arms around his neck as they continued their experimental shy kisses.

Stepping on this boundary was new for the both of them but they have all the time in the world to experiment other things and explore each other's sides. However, for now, _this_ was enough.

They pulled away slightly from each other, both of them feeling bashful from the kiss that just happened. Haruhi could see all the love and passion Takashi held for her in his clear ashen eyes as he gazed tenderly into her beautiful chestnut colored eyes.

He finally told her the words he wanted to tell her long ago.

"_Aishiteru Haruhi_," he uttered quietly but his words rang loud and clear in Haruhi's ears.

Tears formed in her eyes and trailed down her face and he tenderly wiped them away with his thumb. The radiant smile he gave her, filled with his overflowing feelings for her, wrapped around her heart in a blissful manner.

He leaned forward again to capture her lips against his.

_Takashi and Haruhi both knew that their love story was just beginning._

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><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

This is my very first one shot story and the result of my current muse. I tried to make it under 2000 words, but as you can see, I failed. LOL.

Tell me what you thought of this story. Is it good? Is it bad? Does it need improving? I find that my grammar is getting better, but I may have made a few mistakes here and there. So, please ignore those.

Anyway, I know most of you are waiting for that final chapter of _Black and Red Roses_ and I promise I'll post it up as soon as beta work is done. Plus, the final chapter was over 30 pages long. That's right, 30. PAGES. LONG. Keep a look out for it!

Till next time lovelies.

~ Yuuna Arashi ~


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